What I did on my Spring Vacation

Because I know everyone wonders what I do all day...

This project has the delirious combination of drinking corked wine, intense focus, immersion in details, more bottle opening, getting contributions from corked wine drinking friends (no stinking boxed winos, please!) and lastly, a comfy floating chair to swill away in and be insulated from static shocks and ever being taken seriously as an artist or sober adult. I found this on the Martha website....ha! No, actually, this comes courtesy of the fiends of fabrication at MAKE magazine via the CRAFT blogsite. Instructions for the wrap-around sectional are sure to follow...

Speaking as a spanking new craigslist entrepreneur, those archival copies of ROCK magazine from the 70's should be flying out the door and netting me in the high two figures...although in Portland, you never know...could go higher. I told my landlady that the heirloom tomatoes should bring in serious bucks, since they sell at Trader Joe's for $4 & $5 dollars a lb. She gave me that blank stare, as in "What the F are you talking about? You're going to sell tomatoes?"
Well, we don't have the acreage for a tea plantation, so zapotec & brandywine heirlooms are it for this summer. Does that really sound strange? Stranger than getting a job? Really?

I just found out my neighbor is opening a yarn store. I'm completely boggled. This is going on right under my nose, and for all the hours I spent knitting in full view of every passersby all last summer in my front yard, no one even mentioned it to me. Last night another knitting neighbor and I were discussing Portland yarn stores, highs and lows, and a third piped up that knitting is really hot in Portland lately.

Right out of a sit-com, we two shot him an eye-roll withering look and tsk-sighed him into a quivering mass.

We both threatened to teach him knitting. It might work. Like a puppy, a guy knitter is a date magnet. And then I could blog about his escapades with sticks & string. Another genre fiction category sparked by my marketing genius mind, metropolysexual knitter hipster vampire centaurs in Stumptown brokering business and marriages, crime solving and tentacle-ripping, time shifting and swatch gauging, hyphen hyperventilating, hard loving baby-making mistresses of sultanic mayhem millionaires, and all centered around the Central Centaur Community in South East. Yep, they're here somewheres. Lest I be considered a snob, Portland is the place where it all can happen and I'm sure it does, so someone needs to write about it. See you on the shelf at B&N.