Avoidance is like a slow poison---building and building, greater and greater tolerance of it, now I've reached the point of there being no return to it, I cannot think about this now I have a 1000 word essay to write (and start even thinking about) and post before midnight, and it's now 9:30pm OMG.
Before my gorgeous friend Steven left on a long trip, he told me that re-defining is always my choice at anytime, and whatever feels outgrown or used up can be gently set aside or flung to high heaven. I was sitting in his darkened living room while he washed dishes in his Calvin briefs, and we were both pretending that he wasn't leaving town for almost forever in a day or two, and this was just another chat, la la la la la.
I told him I needed to change the whole blog idea now, or I was going to just stop doing it.
So much has shifted, things are so different, my ideas need a new vessel. And while I was making up my mind, it was ground to a complete halt. He kept washing, now doing the pots and pans, and said that he felt I needed to blast open the whole thing to incorporate more writing and not be so tied to a place or theme.
"Honey, we read blogs because we want to know about this amazing person writing them, and are your own favorite bloggers really tied to one specific theme? Didn't you stumble on them and then marveled at their writing and personality, and now read whatever they want to post?"
"Well, yeah, completely. But there had to be a thread of a theme that helped me find them in the first place...right?"
"Just write it, tell your friends to link to their friends with your address, it will get around."
I went home on that afternoon and sat looking at my new MacBook, pristine, glistening, fully charged with at least 5 hours of typing life, and knew I had to make a move. Once I got caught up with my Summer Term reading and writing assignments, and had a chance to think about anything other than school. Okay, so I'm barely caught up, but decided tonight that I would at least draw a line in the sand saying that this initial phase of blogging that began with the End of the B-store Life has drawn to a comfortable close. The transition is complete. I'm simmering some ideas and concepts to start a new blog focusing much more on writing (I think) and will most likely dive into it after exams are done mid-month. All the doors and windows will be thrown open and anything may look appropriate to me to launch into. I'll most likely link to it from here, in case anyone wants to try something new.
