The Emperor's New Clothes

Having had a very public moment of jazz and confidence, I feel the shell coming over me as usual.
It's so damn scary to be so exposed, I don't know how all you extroverts do this every day. The skin is thin, therefore the shell. The Crab sign has some sense to it, as I see it.

My loveliest neighbors invited me to a pot luck bar-be-que last night, and had implied that they were celebrating my new business venture direction with me. I was seized with fear, stage-fright and magnificent doubts. Holy shit! I had to pitch it to the masses. I offered to bring pies. So if the business idea wasn't getting mileage, maybe the pies would.

Needn't have worried. (whew!)

We had brand spankin' new neighbors move in across the street on Thursday & Friday, so they got invited, too, so the spotlight was not on me, much to my relief. Not sure if the pies were received well or not, but I liked them, so that's okay. We had a true Mediterranean al fresco meal; fresh grilled salmon, fresh perfectly steamed asparagus, succulent cheeses, fruit and crispy crackers, red & white wines by the hostess' family vineyard, rice, black beans, a serious dark-eyed infant, a singing naked two year old in the garden, dog, cats, fig trees, wide-reaching conversation, and diverse guests. Alternately, we related the story of arriving in this neighborhood, spirits, thieves, scandals & worse. No one was drinking enough to really get into the good stuff.

As the evening got chilly, we reluctantly began clearing the table and said our goodbyes. I came home and reassured the upstairs ghost that she would remain undisturbed, not to worry, and I found it amusing that anyone should think I needed to "do" anything about her. That the phone chiming at night would be scary. I also remembered a time in the 80s when everyone around me felt obliged to be a "teacher" and let all the "uninitiated" know how to go about things. Being so shy, I would listen and think there's so much to learn, but I'd interrupt when someone assumed I was completely ignorant, and begin relating all my experience with the topic. I don't like the Emperor telling me how it is, and I don't want to be the Emperor, either. So last night, it was comforting to be neither, and watch the thread of conversation weave among everyone, dancing around or leaned into, with the kids keeping it all interrupted and fun. When more of my Plan for World Domination is concrete, it will be easier for me to disclose more of my Evil Genius. But for now, more pie, coffee, ice cream, please!