May Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot

New Year's Eve, the birthday of Anthony Hopkins (70) and a guy I used to date in Florida (56), and somewhere in the world, my Brazilian pal Suzanne is remembering the same 1999 into 2000 New Year's Eve we spent partying like it was 1999, knowing we were going ahead into the new millennium in different directions, this night would not happen again. She was more stuck in Florida than I was, and was frankly jealous I was planning on moving to Oregon. We got to be really close friends while working together at the B-store in Boca, then when I left in July she never returned my emails or calls. Mutual friends said she had taken on her own store, was buried in work, and had to cut some ties. I understood, I'd done it myself. But I hate when great people leave my life. Tonight I'm not partying at all, I'm doing a Martha Stewart, baking date corn muffins and knitting a new black tweed wool cardigan, and the nutmeg is wafting into the living room just about now. I have an early appointment tomorrow.

My other blast of the past situation is playing out in the morning, Jasmine Tree Girl emailed me that she wants to hash out the relationship breakdown from the summer of 2005, and I said okay. My other friends have cautioned me, that this may not be recoverable, and I'm full of apprehension about having this chat, but don't feel I have any illusions about reviving our formerly sisterhood connection. I can predict that she'll not like what I have to say about it, and the whole thing may conclude for good by noon. Or, she may surprise me, it may make sense to her after all, and we can take a few steps forward in a fresh start in 2008.

Starting this blog last year about this time, I was facing a huge new threshold, a big expanse of unknown, and was paddling as fast as I could to conclude the heavy work of closing my stores and taking care of my people. It was easier for me to stay occupied with all of that and set aside my own coping until February 1st 2007, when I would be officially unemployed. As I've written about here, and spent hours and days re-examining, there's been so much discovery and release of old burdens this past year, and I am really happy where the past 12 months have brought me. Having this woman choose to contact me right now, and want to resolve things right now, I just don't want to get bogged down by something I was feeling settled with. Do we really have to excavate this whole thing now? I don't even care anymore if she understands my perspective like I did at the beginning, I don't need her to say I'm right or even agree about any of it. But she wants to understand more, and I'm going along, I guess for old time's sake. Either way, finish it up and keep moving, that's where I am about it all. Then drive to the gym and sink into the eucalyptus steam. Happy Spa New Year.

The muffins are out of the oven now, OMG, sometimes I forget what a great baker I can still be sometimes. I think I'm going to do more baking in the new year, brownies and muffins have been well received in the last few weeks, and it makes the morning coffee ritual so much more nurturing. And fortifying for the trek into the haunted house in a few hours...

Happy New 2008, new risks, new rewards, new journeys, new friends, continued happiness. Starting the Official Countdown to Porch Days 2008, 89 days away, or the first sunny days above 50 degrees, which ever comes first.