Lighten Up, Hon...

Okay okay, here's some chili con carne for us all.

Mr Torso and Aqua Girl were at the pool this morning, outdoing each other in the fast lap lanes, lots of camaraderie and coaching. (oh brother) He had been there Friday with one of the other Betty or Veronicas he shows up with now and then, which is more shy teasing and wow, you're greats. (yech)

As is his wont, after finishing his 90 minutes of laps, he emerges fully formed from the azure depths and relaxes his godly form in the pit of fiery waters, more to converse with we mortals that are his pitiful subjects. (verily) As surely he is omniscient and omnipotent (stop) Mr Torso, God, steps slowly down the tiled stairs, adjusting the strap on his tinted godly goggles, finally reaching the floor of the turbulent flaming pool, he takes a deep breath, and stands there glorious. Not moving. For an interminable time (like 20 or 30 seconds). As the water ebbed to the top of his loose fitting, low-slung swim trunks, my gaze worked slowly up the Elysium Fields of his heavenly torso like the hands of a newly blinded sculptor. Held captive by his loveliness, he stood there immobile before me in more humbling magnificence than the Monolith of 2001: Space Odyssey (cue soundtrack) The chatter of the other mortal subjects fell silent. Then, he lowered himself to the benchseat, the whirlpools of Charybdis overtaking the golden fleece in a temporary victory. His eyes closed in elegant repose. (breathe)

What is up with this guy??? I veer from "Thus Spake Zarathustra" to the acoustic guitar intro of Simon and Garfunkel's "Mrs Robinson" in less than three seconds. Someone suggested he reads my blog and is jerking my chain. Well, he is definitely jerking my chain, I doubt he reads this blog, but I don't doubt that he is fully aware of his affect on women of all ages and is juicing that to the max. Why oh why (but thank you) does he stand in front of me like that, literally 18 inches from me, and just stand there, up to his waist in hot water? When he gets out of the hot tub, we all watch him go up the steps, and turn right to (side elevation view) go to the sauna, then we look at each other and smile, roll our eyes and a few older ladies even giggle "I'm not dead yet, Ruth" so he has to be doing this on purpose, right?


Why do I care? Well, he's a beautiful man, and although has the body Michaelangelo might have made, he's not as petulant as David (who's always looked kinda 'Hey Sailor' to me) and has that amazingly perfect turfscape. And the being 18 inches from nearsighted me aspect. He's consistent, and never lets the sheilas keep him from his workout. Everyday, even on Sundays. I like that. I'll miss him, now that class will fill up my mornings, only Saturday and Sunday mornings will be my windows of breath-taking scenic vistas. Alas...

I think I saw him dressed once, wearing his little homeboy baggies and a brimmed cap on his shaved head, hoodie and silly shoes, talking to one of the very young women at the front desk. Call me superficial, but he was doing too good a job of hiding in plain sight, masking his magic. As I came in the front door, I brazenly walked up to the desk, looked him in the eye, and gave him a flirty smile. It may have been him, I don't know, he had his baggy shirt on.