Monday, January 28, 2008

Grief

My favorite dog is leaving the planet and my heart is breaking. There's nothing I can do except hug on him, pet and scratch him, give him some yogurt and doggie cookies, push the water dish over, and help him up if he wants to go outside. Nothing but everything I can to help him and give him love and touch.

You're never ready, you just aren't, unless you're good at keeping your heart in an insulated place far away from where it's supposed to be. I'm no good at that with animals, and even though he's been sliding in that direction for a while, it was still a shock to see it so baldly and with no other meaning than this. I'm tired of saying goodbye to animals, but I can't quit loving them, there's no other way than to love the hell out of them, so a fresh heartbreak, another raw grief, and time to say goodnight again. I know what unconditional love is because I've learned it this way, over and again, the noble animal souls who leave me behind blessed with their unconditional acceptance and love for me. There's no 'right' way to do grief, you just shoulder into it and keep breathing. Hugging other animals is a fine solace.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Came to your blog from ORBlogs with a big hug. Losing a furry friend SUCKS. It's the only bad part. The only way to get through the sadness is to be sad... and glad that you had this moment.

Laura said...

thanks---since he isn't my own dog, but a close friend's, I want to be there for her, and I'll deal with my grief around the edges of it all, he's such a huge bright soul, burning fierce all the way...