I Miss Radio

You know, real radio, without 10 minutes every half hour of amped commercials, chatter heads filling every nanosecond of non-vocal intro and fadeout with inanities, overgrown adolescents trying to be Howard Stern in the morning, or the new dentist's office soundtrack of "smooth jazz".

Help. I thought I was alone out here. With mp3 players and portable CD players, a whole generation watching videos never needed radio, it was that talking crap their parents listened to when dropping them off and picking them up at school, "EN-PEA-ARR" holy holy holy. Or the right-wing-nut AM guys shouting at each other about family values and football. Obsolete.

For years, I had this idea of resurrecting radio theater, with sound effects and background music, character voices and serial stories, 30 or 60 minutes each week of pure audio adventure and movie in your mind. People gave me weird looks and shook their heads. "How would that make any money?" they asked dismissively. I was thinking how it would be great fun to introduce middle schoolers to it, with the whole "studio" experience so there would be some unknown territory for them to be awed by and then learn to master, grow confident, and have some secret swagger to take to high school with them. "I know how to mike sound effects and shrill character voices," she said a bit smugly to her guidance counselor. Kind of like Steamboat Punk, leaning back onto older technology and see what it can do now, make it do new things now, revive it for a new generation.

This summer, I had this vision of "Old Fashioned Porch Nights", with some strings of icicle lights glowing, a bunch of neighbors sitting on a wide porch after sunset listening to some old radio show recordings (mp3 or CD) and old big-band music, and talking, sipping cold beer or wine, knitting, mending, reading the paper or even laptopping, no agenda, no plan, just folks and some low-key leisure. People I shared the idea with nodded and said they thought it was a great idea, kinda odd but weird in that Portland-kind of way, "You should do it!" they said. Remember the whole Utne Reader magazine "salon" thing from the 90's? Great idea, no legs.

The other day it hit me that having no real radio in my world has left a huge gaping hole in what I have always considered my foundation identity. Ye-gads, why has it taken me this long to realize it? I don't know really, having OPB and 89.9 and KBOO just wasn't exactly hitting it for me. For all the years working for the Big Book Store, we had new music coming out our ears, and played a revolving playlist every open moment and the really good stuff before and after hours. You got to hear music from co-workers you would have never found on your own, and the best of local heroes who play around town. I took it for granted, completely.

Now that I solved the puzzle, I took immediate action. Not willing to sell my soul and remaining self-employed dollars to iTunes, I started searching for the best of what had to be on Internet Radio, and I found one that has pleased me very much. The name implies its philosophy, and I'm not endorsing it for any reason other than it has served me nicely so far, and I hate to keep secrets about something this inalienable-rights-ish and easy to share: Slacker.com Rules!

No, they don't have old radio shows, I'm still on my own there (for now) but they do have a pretty broad assortment of music and the gadget to make your own list of stations and play any version of the Way-Back Machine you feel the need to indulge. And unlike playing a stack of your fave CDs or iPod playlists, you get to hear random songs by random artists so the whole tedious predictability of spinning your own tunes is blasted out of the water. WOW---the randomness of Real Radio, and no videos to distract you from what you're doing or supposed to be doing, leaving you free to work or whatever. The magnitude of that alone made me feel as if I had rediscovered electricity, and after a whole energized afternoon of productivity, I emailed my pal Jolie that it felt like a blood transfusion, "This is the missing element, why did it take me so long to figure it out??"

"That's what kids are good for, I get to hear it in the car everyday, happy you're back on it," she laughed, "I'm downloading the Slacker desktop player right now, thanks!"

So there's the feeling silly part, that it took me years to figure this out, but there it is. Fixed now. And no pesky commercials and robot DJs or idiot un-comedians. My productivity has quad-rupled, making the inner Boss Lady very very happy. "Back to work, slacker!"

Great Gifts From Web and Tube!

While the sun is out, and splendid is the breeze, I am to be found outdoors, in the car with the windows rolled down and music turned up, on the porch, in the garden, harassing the neighbors.

Then the icy North Wind crashes my party, and I'm running inside for a sweater, or if the sun disappears, I just stay in. Stuff to do, and all that. There's the writing, dishes, napping, and the usual work-pursuing, web surfing and tube watching. Before I chide myself for all this slacking, I need to just say that you can never predict where your inspiration will come from, or what freebie gifts you may uncover using these tools of the devil. Allow me to elaborate...

There's The Chair from the Requip commercial, restless leg syndrome drug. "The Chair" has thousands of people (like me) very stirred up and looking for a clue on how to get one of these. There are threads and blogs and a torrent of interest for a chair that does not exist. The drug company says the ad agency did a mock-up just for filming the commercial, and since all the interest has been on the chair and not on the drug, "The Chair" is being de-emphasized in the newer runnings of the Requip ads. There are millions of dollars to be made on manufacturing this chair, and so far, the demand in the marketplace is not being met by anyone. All that money not being made. As a former business woman, and whipped horse of the corporate 'delight and surprise' dog & pony show, this unmet market astounds me. Millions, I say. No one is biting.

Another television gem has been the Lexus ad featuring Nina Simone. I remember when she died a few years ago, and we played her CDs at work all the time when I was a music department manager. But the gift of this ad is that the CD this song is taken from has been out of print, a live from Paris album 1968, and now this interest from the commercial (Google it & see) is bringing this amazing artist to the attention of a wide sweep of listeners, young and not so, and I'm sure will resurrect this CD from the archives and make it at least downloadable somewhere. This is beautiful.

Back on the Web, I have been trying to find which roses are growing in our garden here, and the web has great resources to do this. Being in the City of Roses, it is a fun day to go to the Rose Garden, but I kind of get overwhelmed and would just rather enjoy the experience than do research. Our neighborhood yards have some really old rose specimens, and my neighbor thinks that some of the grafted stems have died off and the root stock is reasserting itself after 50-odd years of predictable blooming. If you drive past some yards along a street, there are common trendy types from years past, that makes me think that Fred Meyers had a sale in 1963 on coral lipstick pink teas, or they all shared divided clumps. I love a mystery.

Etsy. I wish I had thought of it. I have big plans now to max my tschochskies there. Sounds sleazy. The marketplace for all things hand made, and the only crocheted toilet top tissue box covers you would find would probably be a reference to what this website is NOT. This is the next threshold for the hipster DIY nouveau-geek or whimsical offbeat crafster. I am so there.

The History Channel had a two hour show Monday night called "Hippies", featuring many interviews, film footage, analysis by contemporaries, Peter Coyote and the Diggers, music, Vietnam, and the Man. Although it had its omissions and gloss-over-lightly areas, it was a great show and I'd recommend people of all ages to see it, younger viewers with their Boomer of choice to fill in some gaps. Fabulous way to spend two chilly evening hours.

While Google-ing some people I used to hang out with in Ann Arbor, I discovered that my old pal Misty Callies is super-famous!! There is a prime level hip restaurant in New York City called 'Prune'. The chef there is named Gabrielle Hamilton, a famous younger woman who has almost single-handedly revolutionized "great little eatery" standards in Manhattan. I'm sure Paris has been thrown out of there at least once. Anyways, Gabrielle wrote an article for Food & Wine magazine that goes on and on how my pal Misty was her mentor in the late 90s in Ann Arbor, working at Misty's restaurant on State Street called Zanzibar. Misty and her brother Todd run it, but Misty is the visionary and driving force (as she always was 20 years ago) and taught the future Prune owner a new, non-NY way of creating a restaurant. I was so thrilled, and the story had a pic of Misty at work, and talked about her gruff communication style but genius of concept and attitude. Misty was my hero for many years back in the early 80s when I worked with her and her brother at various places in Ann Arbor, and it was so gratifying to see Misty getting some national press and praise. And the stories I could tell about parties at Misty's house...and I may some day with the names changed for the usual reasons.

Two more commercials, and I'm done...

The silly Comcast (how I hate thee) one with the tiger striped tattooed guy---"Sorry Roger, you tiger now!" Can't help it, I laugh every time.
The one with the Asian guy all done up in a Riverdance costume and headband, dancing his heart out in the middle of his living room, twirling, leaping, kicking, Irish pipes playing...then his wife and daughter walk through the door carrying shopping bags and just gawk---"Wow, you're home early" he says weakly. I can't remember what the product is, because I just laugh so hard, oh wait, it's a flooring company. Hardwood floors. Must be HGTV. It's tough to write funny ads, it so skews to the target audience, but everyone who sees it should get it.

I'm an amateur sociologist, it's my job.