Everyday Anthropology

Here's a perfect example of the essential usefulness of knowing some anthropology...

Setting: backyard hot tub at dusk, sneaking in while neighbor is out of town.

Cast: half-buzzed sneaky neighbor in hot tub; one resident of house of said hot tub;

Scene: Roaring hot tub jets, growing twilight, just as a chilly sprinkle starts, house resident tentatively approaches occupied hot tub, saying name of sneaky neighbor repeatedly so as not to startle her. Finally she hears him---

Sneak: He-e-e-y, neighbor! Wow, hope it's okay, I called---

Resident: I didn't want to scare you, it's cool, did it warm up yet?

S: Yeah, it's gettin' there, almost 100 now.

R: Mind if I join you? (climbs in, resets jets, louder roaring and churning)

S: Nope, just relaxing after a long week of classes, I brought a beer, TGIF! (they laugh)

S & R don't really know each other well, they each know the owner of the house pretty well, the one who isn't there. A few moments of loud but awkward silence. They discuss Portland, other places they each used to live, until suddenly---

R: Like that place in New England, where they found that ancient place with the rocks and the coins---

S: ---and the petroglyphs---

R: Right! Like before Columbus and the Vikings!

S: I saw that show on the National Geographic channel where they think it may have been the ancient Phoenicians or even post-ice age Europeans that followed the melting ice shield to North America---

R: Yeah, I saw that, and the native peoples had European DNA before North America was colonized---

S: Like Kenniwick Man had Altaic or Ainu DNA, not recent DNA from more recent peoples in the Pacific Northwest----

R: So what about the Nazca Lines? I took one of those classes where the teacher said none of any of it was true---

S: Yeah, 'The Pseudo-sciences' myth-busting thing, like 'NO, the Aliens did NOT build the pyramids!'

R: Exactly!

R & S go on, getting redder and redder in the face in the 106 degree water for another 30 minutes.

S: (feeling faint) I think I have to get out---I'm poached. (sloshes out, grabs towel)

R: Yeah, me too, right after you. (climbs out, covers hot tub)

They stand there steaming in the dim evening, bi-pedal lobsters:

S: Great chat!

R: Yeah, good soak, this is easy to get used to.

S: I owe _____ a case of beer, for all the kind lending of the hot tub goodness. (stops herself from launching into the brewing history of the Fertile Crescent peoples)

They each drip towards their respective front doors. S drinks a large glass of water, once again grateful for the ever-readiness of Anthropological knowledge to save the day and gloss-over faux pas of all kinds, remedy social situations, and claim common interests to make new friends. S frantically searches her freezer for an ice pack, to avoid the popping of the top of her head.

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